- All right, rockers, time for a little freestyle jam sesh.
Freddy, you ready to pound those skins?
- Locked and loaded.
[plays drums]
- Zack, Tomika, you fools ready to shred?
- Bring it. - Let's do this.
[both playing guitars] - Oh.
You both scare me, and I dig it.
Lawrence, you all set to tickle those keys?
- Oh, come on, they get to pound and shred,
and I have to tickle?
- Fair point.
Wail on those keys like they just called your mama "stupid."
- That woman does the best she can
with the tools she was given.
- Yeah. Yeah, that's right, rock--
- Summer, banging on the tambo.
[plays tambourine off-key]
- Okay, Summer.
- Double tamb!
- Okay. You can--
[music ends, tambourines continue playing off-key]
- Sweet jam sesh.
I think we're ready to lay that track down.
- [chuckles] Summer, the tambourine
is a subtle instrument.
It makes more of an impact when it makes less of an impact.
You feel me?
- I think. So you're saying I should do less?
- Well, if you say so.
As a matter of fact,
let's get you a brand-new, slightly more quiet instrument.
Bang these together, hard as you want.
Just feel the music.
- But how will anybody--
- Two, three, four!
[band plays rock]
- [coughing]
- Yeah, there we go, people. Now we're jamming.
- ♪ Stop tellin' me to read between the lines ♪
♪ It all adds up to one thing ♪
- Five, four, three, two, one.
- ♪ If you think you're gonna lose your cool ♪
♪ Well, sometimes you gotta break the rules ♪
♪ Hey, show me what you know, give it up to rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ 'Cause we ain't gonna stop ♪
♪ ♪
♪ If you're feeling like you're gettin' schooled ♪
♪ There's a answer right in front of you ♪
♪ Hey, show me what you know, give it up to rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ 'Cause we ain't gonna stop ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪ - ♪ Are you ready to rock? ♪
[rock music]
- [humming bass line]
- [drumming with pencils]
- [humming keyboard riff]
- [humming guitar riff]
[all humming]
♪ ♪
- [off-key] ♪ Hi yi yi yi, ya yi yi yi! ♪
- No?
Okay.
[school bell rings]
He's late, again.
- I don't get it. How much time does it take to not shower?
- Here is today's bulletin, Mr. Fi--Mr.--
[scoffs] Class, where is Mr. Finn?
Is he tardy? - Shh.
- Principal Mullins, I'm so glad you're here.
- Oh. Why?
- Uh, I'm not sure.
- We wanted to show you our class hamster.
Oh, my gosh. Nibbles escaped.
- And he took his cage with him.
- My homework too.
- Before we look for hamsters, let's find Mr. Fi--
- Oh, hello, Principal Mullins.
I didn't hear you come in.
- But I-- I mean, you--
- I know.
We're all at a loss for words about Nibbles.
But life goes on.
- Well, don't worry, children.
I'm sure your hamster will turn up.
You know, I have some extras in my office.
Black or brown?
- Black, please.
[all sigh]
- Whew!
Thanks for covering for me, guys.
- You need to be careful, Mr. Finn.
You've been late a lot,
and Principal Mullins hates tardiness.
- What? When have I ever been late before?
[whistling]
Good morning, students. [school bell rings]
Good work, guys.
You nailed it.
Great effort.
See you guys tomorrow!
Okay, fine.
But let's get started.
We still need to find one more amazing, original song
to end our set at the Battle of the Bands.
- What about our poetry homework?
- Songwriting is poetry.
If you'd ever listen to AC/DC, you'd know that.
Great bands can't exist without great songwriting.
- So who's our songwriter?
- We don't have one but don't worry.
I put an ad online, so I'm sure we'll find a great songwriter,
and hopefully, I'll sell that futon.
- I'll be our songwriter.
- Have you ever written a song before?
- No, but I do write our family's newsletter.
Uncle Mark went to Peru.
- Oh, well, felicidades to Uncle Mark.
But it isn't that easy.
Songwriting is a craft you have to work at.
It takes time.
You got to write hundreds of songs
before you can master the art.
What's this?
- 100 songs. I wrote them.
- Since yesterday? - I know.
I would've written more, except I had to do my algebra homework,
which was the motivation for my song "Algebra Homework."
- "Y equals five.
Why, oh, why must Y equal five?"
- Instant classic.
- Mm-hmm.
There's another song here, "Grocery List,"
that looks like it's just a grocery list.
"Apples, paper towels, bread, bread, bread."
- "Bread" is the chorus.
- Ah, ha ha. - Yeah.
- Um...
Summer, I respect you too much to lie to you,
so I'm gonna give you some constructive criticism.
- Okay. - These songs are awful.
Like, crazy bad.
- Mr. Finn, constructive criticism
is supposed to be about specific things.
- Well, specifically, this...
is terrible.
- I get it. I'm not good enough for anything in this band.
- Oh, come on.
If you really want to write a song,
look at some of your favorite artists
and find out how they do it.
- You mean like a research project?
- I call it sitting around and listening to music,
but whatever works.
- Thanks, Mr. Finn. I'm on it.
- Anytime.
♪ Y equals five Why, oh, why does Y-- ♪
Just 'cause I'm singing it doesn't mean it's good.
[rock music]
Pop quiz--
Van Halen with David Lee Roth or Van Halen with Sammy Hagar?
- Trick question. Both. - Oh, Mr. Finn, Mr. Finn.
I'm glad I ran into you.
- Hello, Principal Mullins.
Lovely day, isn't it?
You look very principal-y.
- Thank you.
Mr. Finn, there's something I'd like to speak
to you about in private.
Can you meet me in my office this afternoon at 3:00?
- Oh, private meeting.
What are we gonna do--
talk smack about all the teachers we can't stand?
Love it.
I'll bring snacks.
Pound it.
- I don't know what's happening right now.
- Yeah.
What's up, fellas?
Why are your mouths open like that?
- Principal Mullins said she wanted to speak with you,
in private.
- You don't think she wants to date, do you?
I really don't need the drama of a workplace romance right now.
- When Principal Mullins speaks to a teacher,
it's almost always to fire them.
- Wait. You think she wants to fire me?
- I hope not.
This school would stink without you here.
It would just be like...school.
- It's true, Mr. Finn.
Thanks to you, I've got confidence.
Plus, you helped me work on my game with the ladies.
- Hi, Lawrence. - What's up, Esme?
I'm falling.
In the old days, that would have gone badly.
- You have to impress Principal Mullins in the meeting
and keep your job.
So far, you've only had to deal with Mullins
for five minutes, tops.
- This is an actual meeting.
You're looking at a full half hour of good behavior.
- You're right, my record for good behavior is 11 minutes.
I'm toast.
- No, we can help you.
I know what it takes to impress adults.
I've been fooling my friends' moms into thinking
I'm a good influence for years.
- It's true. My mom's all, "Why can't you be more like Freddy?"
She brought a picture of him to my last haircut.
- Mm. That's just weird.
And the barber didn't even come close.
- You've taught us how to be rock stars.
Now let us teach you how to behave like an adult.
- Okay, mold me. - Lesson one--
at the meeting, don't wear flip-flops.
- How would she ever even notice?
[sandals flopping loudly]
[rock music]
- Oh, no, here comes my brother.
What do you think it's gonna be today,
make fun of my height, my hair,
or punch me in the arm?
- Hey. You're short.
Your hair looks dumb.
- Is that all you losers got?
My grandma hits harder than--
- Tomika, shh!
- Guys, guys, guys, I've been researching Taylor Swift,
and I figured out how to write way better songs
for us to play together.
Good-bye, eraser clapper.
Hello, songwriter.
- I thought your song "Texting with Tomika"
was pretty catchy.
- Thanks. But Taylor's songs
are all about dating and breakups and stuff.
So I'm gonna do what she does.
I'm going to find a boyfriend, break up with him,
and wear cute boots.
- You look so cute in cute boots.
But getting a boyfriend sounds hard.
- I don't need a real boyfriend, just someone to pretend,
so I can write great songs.
He doesn't even have to "like me" like me.
- No way!
Not interested.
- You're so funny, Zacky.
I'm so lucky I'm your girlfriend,
which, in turn, makes you my boyfriend.
- Yo, Zack.
- Oh. Hey, Ashton.
My arm's really sore.
Can you just punch me in the face?
- I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
- She's not my girl-- - That's baller, bro.
Makes me not want to punch you.
- Okay, I'll do it. I'm your boyfriend.
- Yay.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
Carry my bag?
- I don't think so.
I mean, of course I will.
- My boyfriend will be paying.
Boop.
- Better than getting punched.
I'm just gonna go dump our trays, honey-boo.
- Speaking of dumping, I think it's time for us to break up.
- Break up?
We just started dating a half hour ago.
- I know,
and it's been a super-special half hour, Zack.
I've gotten so much out of this relationship--
the highs, the lows,
the 28 minutes in the middle where not much happened.
- Uh, okay.
But I'm gonna pretend you're still my girlfriend,
not because I like you.
I like not getting punched. - I understand.
Breakup selfie.
[rock music]
Mr. Finn. - Oh, Summer.
Good. You're here.
Zack's amp's been shaking funny,
and we were hoping you could sit on it to dampen the noise.
- What? I'm no amp dampener.
I am a songwriter.
I did what you said, and I wrote a relationship song,
just like Taylor Swift does.
- "'A Relationship Song, Just Like Taylor Swift Does'...
by Summer."
Summer, I'm sorry.
I know how badly you want to write songs for the band,
but these words just feel fake.
It's like this whole boyfriend thing was made up.
- It's not! It's real.
You don't see my brother out there, do you?
- So, I still don't get to write our song
for Battle of the Bands?
What am I supposed to do now?
Fine. I'll get on the amp.
- You're awesome.
All right, let's do it. Two, three, four...
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- [voice warbling] I kind of miss the erasers.
♪ ♪
[rock music]
- Remember, Mr. Finn,
your job depends on you acting like an adult
in your meeting with Principal Mullins.
- So we've come up with a way to train you.
- You mean teach me?
- Yeah, sure.
You're gonna pretend like you're talking to Principal Mullins.
Whenever you do something right, you get a treat.
- Ooh, licorice. I like that.
[zap] Yow!
- And whenever you do something wrong, you get that.
- I don't like that.
You said this was an ab sculptor.
- Would you have worn it if I told you
it was a homemade shock machine?
- If it gave me a six-pack.
- Now, Lawrence is going to greet you as Principal Mullins.
Greet her with a handshake, not a fist bump,
and do not call her "bro," "man," or "dude."
Got it?
- Hello, Mr. Finn.
- Hello, Principal Mullins.
- That's a very firm handshake.
- Thanks, dude. [zap]
Aah! Dude!
[zap] Dude!
- Stop saying "dude"! - Dude!
Dude! [zap]
I just want some licorice.
In conclusion, Principal Mullins,
I cherish every moment I get to spend with these kids,
and it's an honor to teach at this fine academy.
- He's ready. - [sighs]
[gulps and chews]
- All right, let's go. Your meeting's in five minutes.
- Oh, the meeting's not today.
Principal Mullins rescheduled it to tomorrow at 7:45 a.m.
- What?
The only way you'd be here that early
is if you slept at the school.
- Yeah. - Yes, sleep at the school.
That's a great idea...
[zap] Freddy!
- Sorry, finger slipped.
[rock music]
- [sighs]
- Summer, I know you're down,
but maybe songwriting just isn't your thing.
- It is! It has to be.
Everyone else has a thing but me.
What am I doing wrong?
- Well, you need to stop writing from your head
and write from your heart.
Music is about a feeling.
It's about more than a feeling.
That's it.
"More Than a Feeling," by Boston.
Your song needs to do this.
["More Than A Feeling" plays]
[humming guitar riff]
♪ More than a feeling ♪
Do you feel it? Come on, feel it!
- ♪ When I hear that old song they used to play ♪
♪ More than a feeling ♪
Yeah, he's talking about the power of music.
Oh, yeah.
Can you believe how high his voice is?
He's grown man.
[humming guitar solo]
[music stops]
Dude, I was right in the middle of my "meer, neer, neer."
- How do I tap into that?
- Well, songs come to people in different ways.
Some people meditate, some exercise,
some keep a dream journal.
You know, Paul McCartney wrote "Yesterday" in his sleep.
- That old guy Kanye discovered?
- What? He was way--
- I'm just messing with you. - Oh.
Well, go write a song that moves people,
and I promise we'll play it in Battle of the Bands.
What do you say?
- I say I'm gonna write a song that has more than a feeling.
- Yeah. - Dewey, it's your mother.
I'm out buying you underpants. - Okay.
- Do you want boxers or briefs?
- I got to make a call.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- Okay, Summer, here comes a hit song.
Clear your mind and find your feelings.
Om.
My legs are cramping.
I'm stuck.
[feedback whines]
- Attention, students.
This is Principal Mullins.
We have a very special guest to rock your world.
Give it up for guitar legend
Dewey Finn.
[imitates crowd cheering]
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
- Come on, ideas.
♪ ♪
Ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas.
Ooh, I got one! [squeals]
[distorted guitar music]
Okay, dream journal, you're my last chance for a good song.
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
Okay.
[alarm blaring]
Oh, yeah.
[sighs]
[rock music]
He slept here all night.
- Mr. Finn, It's time for your meeting.
- He won't wake up.
- Led Zeppelin's getting back together.
- Play "Stairway"!
Freddy, Lawrence, I did it.
I'm here before school started!
- We're proud of you, Mr. Finn.
- Now go save your job. - Thanks, guys.
both: Mr. Finn, Mr. Finn.
- No, no, no, no.
I've got to go be a grown-up.
- Oh, good morning, Mr. Finn. - What's up, dude?
Don't zap me. - Excuse me?
- I meant good morning, Madame Mullins.
It is a pleasure to see you as always.
- Are you wearing pajamas?
- It seems I am,
because...
it's pajama day in our class.
I thought it was silly, but the kids insisted, so...
- Morning, Mr. Finn. - Is he wearing pajamas?
- Those kids are getting demerits.
- Mr. Finn, let's get this over with.
Shall we go to my office for our chat?
- I really like it here.
I didn't think I was going to, but the kids are amazing,
and I feel like they're teaching me more than I'm teaching them.
And please don't fire me.
- [scoffs]
Fire you?
I just need you to sign this birthday card
for Mr. Rasmussen, the woodshop teacher.
- Cool. [laughs]
Pound it, dude.
No? That's cool. I'll just sign it.
- Yeah, that'd be good.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- All right, this is weird.
It's the beginning of the school day.
I'm here, and Summer's not.
I'm very disappointed in the both of us.
- Amp dampener, reporting for duty.
- Are you okay?
You don't look like you.
- I wouldn't rule out body snatchers.
- I tried everything, but I couldn't do it.
I will never write a great song for the band.
- Summer, it's okay.
So you can't write a song. So what?
It's no reason to give up on, by the looks of it, life.
- It's not just about a song.
I feel like I'm not in the band.
I am always left out.
I mean, everybody knows where they go.
They get to do what they do.
You're all playing the same song,
and I can't even sing along.
I just want to be with them,
but I'm outside looking in.
- Summer, do you see what you just did?
- Humiliated myself?
- No, you wrote a song.
Say that again, that part about being left out.
- Everybody knows where they go. - Keep going.
- They get to do what they do.
- Chord change.
- You're all playing the same song,
and I can't even sing along.
I just want to be with them, but I'm outside looking in.
both: ♪ I just want to be with them ♪
♪ But I'm outside looking in ♪
♪ Let me in, let me in ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Let me in, let me in ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
- ♪ I just want to be with them ♪
♪ But I'm outside looking in ♪
both: ♪ Let me in, let me in ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Let me in ♪
- Yeah!
I think we've just found our killer new song
for Battle of the Bands.
- Way to go, Summer.
- I used to date her.